The Christian Lexicon: Love

"There are still many human emotions I do not fully comprehend - anger, hatred, revenge. But I am not mystified by the desire to be loved - or the need for friendship. These are things I do understand." -Lt. Commander Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation

This post comes as a result of some vigorous discussion which occurred after my last post, "Love Robot."  A very astute reader made a well-articulated response to my post with regard to the subject of Free Will.  And I tried as best I could to answer some of his questions.  I never meant for that post to turn into a discussion on Free Will (now I realize that that was somewhat naive of me), because I assumed that my point was relatively clear.  And, as is likely no surprise, I was wrong.

Now, to be sure, the post made perfect sense to me and many of my friends who read it, because we come from a similar paradigm.  But the anonymous reader's comments made me realize that he and I disagreed primarily not on the conclusion of my argument (though there was disagreement there), but on the premise with which I started.  I believe that it is mainly because of this disparity that the two of us had difficulty understanding each other's points (or at least I did).  So, I am here going to attempt to clarify some of my positions on the subject.

You see, I began the discussion with what I thought was a universally accepted concept: Love requires choice.  And I built my argument from there.  It never crossed my mind to back up this claim because, well, my very concept of Love stems from this idea and I had never really been able to look at it in another light.  But the comments of the forthright reader jarred me into the realization that not everyone has the same concept of Love that I do.  It is my understanding from his comments that this reader maintains that complete libertarian free will is not a prerequisite to Love and that to imply such is to belittle the role of God.

I apologize for my lapse of attention to detail.  It is a rule of mine that terms as important as Love should be defined for a given context, and I simply neglected to do that in the previous post.  I have been planning a series on defining "common" Christian words for a while, so where better to start than with Love?  Therefore, in this post I am going to attempt to define, more or less, my interpretation of the term Love.  In doing so, I hope to clear up some confusion about the previous article.  I do not expect that everyone will have the exact same views of Love that I do, but hopefully this will help my readers have a better understanding of what I mean when I use the term.

I pray that God's Wisdom will guide me in this endeavor, as I do not feel adequate for the task.

I Want to Know What Love Is

Over the past few weeks, I have been unable to write any blog posts, due to being very busy and being away from home for an extended period of time.  But that does not mean that I have not been thinking about these topics.  In fact, I would say that my mind has been preoccupied with this question more than anything else, especially in light of the conversation begun on my last blog post.  What I have found, after such prolonged introspection, is that I did not have an adequate definition of Love.  That is not to say that I didn't know what it was, but when asked to put this concept into words, I came up empty.

One of the points made by the anonymous reader last week was that viewing Love as simply a choice between two preferences was an over-simplification of the matter.  And I whole-heartedly agree with this.  I do not believe that Love is only a product of choice.  To be honest, I sincerely doubt that I can adequately describe Love using any number of words.  Nevertheless, I still believe choice is an integral part of Love, and I hope to explain this further in due time.

Also, let me add that traditional dictionary definitions of Love also seem to be lacking, at least in the Christian sense of the word.  I have looked at Merriam-Webster, Oxford, and Dictionary.com (my usual reference, if you cared), and all three seem to have poor definitions for Love.  Essentially, the most common definition of Love is "deep affection."  If you ask me, this is more a synonym than a definition.  Look up "affection" (or "attraction"), and the most helpful definition given is "strong emotion."  I believe almost any Christian would tell you that Christian Love has much more to it than simple emotion or feelings.  As a verb, it carries action, and as a noun, it incites action.  Emotion there is, and feeling, but these are (or should be) consummated with action.  These dictionaries may be right in the sense that much of the world views Love, but from a Christian perspective, their definitions seem to be lacking (and somewhat circular).

The Game is Afoot

Therefore, I set out to discover just what Love meant to me.  I had used this term so often in my life, but I just took it for granted that Love was what it was.  Now that I was bent on defining it, I had to decide where to start.  So I began by cracking open my Bible.

The first place I stopped was in 1 John.  John has often been called the "disciple of Love," because he uses the term so many times in his writings.  His first epistle in particular contains the term an overwhelming number of times.  Two topics in particular are discussed with relationship to Love: the Love God has for us, and the Love we are to exhibit toward God and toward each other.  I decided to structure my study in much the same manner.

Capital "L"

In writing this blog, I always try to pay close attention to the case I am using.  It is common in English to use upper case for several different reasons, particularly when placing emphasis on given words.  However, I try only to capitalize words in three different instances: (1) when it is required by English grammar, (2) when the word is the particular topic I am discussing, and (3) when a word refers to God or one of His attributes.  In fact, I almost sacrificed the first instance and ignored upper case grammar, much like e.e. cummings.  But my more obsessive-compulsive tendencies would have driven me mad, so I relented to the English Language.

That being said, the reason I have been capitalizing the word "Love" throughout this post is that I am specifically referring to the Christian concept.  And for the Christian, the image of Love is inextricably tied to the image of God.  In fact, as John puts it, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:8, boldface mine)  If God is Love, then His actions should reflect perfectly what it means to love in the truest sense.  Therefore, by observing God, we can learn what Love means.

Let me make a quick clarification.  God does not define Love.  Many people have produced frightening theologies which state that God would be loving even if He were to do something completely evil.  I believe this represents a misunderstanding of the nature of God.  When we say "God is Love," it means that God and Love define each other.  That is to say, everything God does is loving, but not just because He does it.  He acts always out of Love, because that is His Nature.  Love does not change because of the whims of a tyrant; rather, the Ruler Himself shows us Love by letting it guide His every move.

So, what exactly does the Love of God look like?  To answer this, I am going to examine several scriptures. "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:9-10) "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)  "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments." (Deut. 7:9)  "But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy." (Titus 3:4-5a)  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

It is hard to miss the fact that God's Love is tied to His Redemption, the saving sacrifice of Jesus Christ to eradicate our sin and to give us hope of eternal life.  In fact, Jesus Himself talks about this sacrifice: "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13)  The sacrifice itself is not the Love, but the demonstration of God's Love (see: Romans 5:8 above).  Therefore, the action is connected to the concept in a very real sense.  Effectively, these authors seem to be saying that to love in one sense simply means to act on Love.

Clearly, God's Love is tied to His Free Will.  Could God have chosen to abandon us to our selfish actions?  There is no doubt in my mind that God has the capability to do such a thing.  But, as we discussed above, God is defined by Love, and therefore He would not have done it.  For me, the only God worth worshiping is One that could have chosen to not save us, but no God worth worshiping would have chosen thus.  Even more succinctly, God is omnipotent, but perfectly loving.  And His Love can only be properly demonstrated by exercising His Free Will.

Playing God

But perhaps this Free Will idea only applies to God.  Perhaps we humans do not need free will to demonstrate our love.  It is certainly possible to imagine a world where the compulsion to obey God is so strong that it is essentially not a choice at all.  But is this how the world actually is?

First, let me say that this is not an argument about whether or not free will exists.  I will state here quite plainly that I do believe implicitly in the existence of free will, and perhaps I will discuss it in a post here sometime.  But this section is dealing specifically with the application of free will to the concept of human love.  The existence of free will is presupposed.

We have examined some scripture about God's Love; now let's take a look at verses about our love.  "‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matt. 22:37-40)  "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." (Galatians 5:13)  "This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands.  In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands." (1 John 5:2-3a)

It certainly seems to me that free will is a large part of human love, both for God and for our fellow man.  We are supposed to "serve one another" instead of indulging the flesh.  This is definitely a choice, and not always an easy one.  Paul's tone in this passage indicates that there is a dangerous tendency to indulge the flesh, which works against the love each person has for the other.  And John says that to love God is to carry out His commands also a choice—one which we sadly often make poorly.  And God's commandments for us are also about Love.  In fact, Jesus claims that Love summarizes the entirety of the Law.

I believe that the reader with which I was having the discussion a few weeks ago will probably agree with me on the majority of what has been said thus far.  He did say, after all, that "some degree of free will is a necessary component of real relationship."  But I sincerely believe that God wants more than simply a relationship from His children (otherwise, why call them children in the first place?).  I see this in verses like Deuteronomy 6:5- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."  While love can certainly be a one-way venture, it is so much more potent when working mutually between two parties.  I believe it is this sort of motivating Love which God wishes to cultivate in us through relationship with Him.

Complications

As I said above, I realize that this is a simplification of Love.  Love is more powerful and complex than I could ever hope to describe, but perhaps some of the scripture above has been more apt than my own words.  This, at any rate, is my prayer.

One thing I wish to mention before closing is that the English word "love" can have more meanings than the one I have put down here.  If you have been a Christian long, you have likely heard sermons on this topic.  I am simply attempting to discuss what the Christian (Biblical) concept of Love (i.e. God's love for man and man's love for God and his fellow man) means.  For further reading, I would suggest C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves (disclaimer: I have not read it myself, but it has been recommended to me by several sources).

On a final note, I wish to talk about the human capacity for sin, which I feel is coupled heavily to our free will.  I found that a significant portion of the discussion related to my last post came from a statement which I made and perhaps did not adequately describe.  I said that in order for the strength of a person's love to be properly assessed, a choice must be made between the object of that love and another option, which I stated needs to be "on the same order of magnitude" as the first.  My friend objected that nothing could ever compare in magnitude to God, and he is most definitely correct in this assertion.

What I meant to convey was that the two options must appear to be  on the same order of magnitude.  Therefore, the temptation of the serpent in the garden was made much more significant, because for a moment, the command of God and the wisdom from eating the fruit appeared far more similar than they actually were.  Temptation often is simply a distortion of the truth: overemphasizing one aspect of something while playing down aspects of another.  Now, I maintain that God did not create anything evil.  But Love was corrupted in the Garden through temptation, and sin entered the world.  I believe that all sin is a corruption of something good (a topic for another day).  Lust, pride, and the like are all variations on Love which can never hope to supplant the original.  Nevertheless, they vie for prominence in our decision maing every day, and sometimes they manage to win out.

Human love has been somewhat corrupted, it is true.  Thankfully, we have access to One whose Love remains constant yet.  And He has chosen to bridge the gap that we created.

So, here is the best definition I can make for Love: a compulsion to act in the interest of some particular party arising from a relationship with and knowledge of that party.  At least, this is the best I can do for Christian Love.  For a description of what Love is and does from Paul, check out 1 Corinthians 13.  I wanted to include some discussion on it in this post, but honestly I think I have rambled for long enough.

In conclusion, I leave you with more of John's words from his first letter.  I have quoted this chapter at least once already, but for describing Love there are few better passages.  Please read over it and let the magnitude of God's Love for us wash over you.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 

"This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God,God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. 

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 

"We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister." -1 John 4:7-21