The Marriage Ref: The Great Divide

"Divorce is the second worst event in a person’s life. The worst event, of course, is marriage." -Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

In my post last week, I strove to prove that it is worthwhile to talk about marriage, and that marriage is tied very closely to religion.  We discussed how its intrinsic value lay in its ties both to physicality and spirituality, and also concluded that while the government may be justified in creating a definition of "legal" marriage, it can never really define what marriage is in the first place.

This week, we are back to discussing the tricky yet important matter of marriage, and particularly the idea of marriage as it pertains to modern Western culture.  The overall picture I want us to end up with is a very clear image of what marriage should look like, through the eyes of the Person who created it; that is to say, God.

There are many different regions to be explored in the wilderness of marriage, but today I only want to focus on one.  That is the murky, dank territory of divorce.

Once More Unto the Breach

The most difficult aspect of this discussion is the fact that divorce is so prevalent in modern society.  We've all heard the statistics: something like half (or more, depending on the source) of the marriages in the United States have ended in divorce.  This is not necessarily surprising.  If you were part of our discussion last week, you know that I readily admit that marriage really has no real meaning for atheists or people without religious affiliation.

The real shocker is that Christian marriages do not seem to fare noticeably better than their non-Christian counterparts.  This is a real problem.  As Christians, our best advertisement to the world is our love- in fact, that is how we are supposed to be set apart from the rest of the world (John 13:35).  I cannot think of  an institution which more aptly represents love than marriage.  If Christian marriages are failing, how are we supposed to convince other people that marriage is worth saving?  Furthermore, how are we supposed to convince other people of anything that has to do with our faith?

Sadly, many modern people of faith have decided to not take marriage seriously, and as a result, many of their loved ones have gotten hurt.  I should not have to try and convince Christians that their marriage is worth losing all their material possessions for.  I should not have to spend paragraphs explaining to Christian men and women that divorce is wrong and what's more- it's evil.  But I do have to do these things, because we as Christians are failing at marriage.  So I will attempt here to explain, with the help of the Bible, that divorce should be essentially nonexistent in the Church.

Let Me Spell It Out for You

God does not mince words when discussing divorce in His Word.  In fact, passages on divorce are some of the more frighteningly unambiguous sections in all of Scripture.  Let's start with Malachi:

"Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears.  You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.  You ask, 'Why?'  It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

"Has not the Lord made them one?  In flesh and spirit they are his.  And why one?  Because he was seeking godly offspring.  So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.

"'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel, 'and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,' says the Lord Almighty.

"So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith." -Malachi 2:13-16 (NIV 1984)

Now, I know that God is talking to a nation of people here, and not one person in particular, but the idea still holds true.  And it could not be put any more plainly: "I hate divorce...."  Just reading this passage sends chills down my spine.  This is a very powerful message.

But perhaps that doesn't do it for you.  Not to worry, there are plenty of other passages to cite as well.  How about some laws in Deuteronomy?  If a man tried to slander his wife in order to divorce her and it was found out that he was lying, he was not allowed to separate from her- for the rest of his life. (Deut. 22:13-19)  Also, there is no room for adultery among the people of God. (v. 22-24)  Only in cases where there is proof of indecency on the part of the wife was her husband entitled to divorce her, and once that happened there were even more rules about remarriage. (24:1-4)  In Levitical law, the priests were not allowed to marry divorcées, "because priests are holy to their God." (Leviticus 21:7)  It seems that God is making divorce out to be a pretty big deal.

But these laws do not even come close to what Jesus Himself has to say about divorce.  Right at the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus has the audacity to make the following declaration.  "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'  But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (Matt. 5:31-32)  Did you catch that?  Jesus places divorce, even the legal, seemingly innocuous version, on par with adultery, which even today is still viewed with disdain.  This is a big deal.  Essentially, Jesus is here making divorce its own kind of sexual immorality, a category which includes not a few other transgressions which we tend to think of as being more sinister.

The Hierarchy of Contract

I believe perhaps the most troublesome ailment contributing to the symptom of divorce is the general misunderstanding of contracts in our modern society.  I believe we all know intrinsically that not every agreement we make is of the same importance.  Reneging on a pinky-swear made in middle school is not likely to be punished to the same degree as divulging government secrets entrusted to you by the Pentagon.  There is an implied stratification of severity when it comes to different kinds of promises, although going back on your word may cause people to get hurt no matter the strength of the compact.  (For more on what I have to say about contracts check out my previous post here.)

The problem with contemporary society is that we have forgotten the amount of gravitas involved in the contract of marriage.  Marriage is not some sort of inebriated half-promise to be made in the throes of emotional attraction.  It is not a handshake with the other hand crossing fingers behind your back.  It is not an agreement between two corporate entities pledging to support each other as long as the partnership is beneficial.  Marriage is not strategic move to get the best of another person or avoid the cosmic penalty box reserved for adulterers (remember Matthew 5 above).  It isn't even an earnest arrangement between two parties with good intentions.  It is a covenant intertwining two lives for as long as they both last, a contact between two people who love and know each other so well that they long to get to love and know each other better for the rest of their lives.  Marriage is not "till I get bored," "till you quit pleasing me," "till my hormones die down," or "till we don't see eye-to-eye anymore."  It is "till death do us part!"

I pray that the words I have utilized to convince you that divorce is evil have not been spent in vain.  We Christians should be champions for marriage, because it is nothing to trifle with.  A covenant is one of the most fully binding and steadfast agreements imaginable, and the consequences of one being broken are always severe.  I believe too many people today view marriage as just a promise.  What's more, dating relationships have become all but marriages from the start, with boyfriends and girlfriends becoming increasingly possessive of each other.  Even in Christian relationships, there is a burgeoning disregard for the "archaic" practice of courtship, and a corollary increase in the amount of dating Christians who are crossing all sorts of lines.  Compared to the intensity of these dating relationships, marriage does not seem so prominent- it's just the "next step."  The problem is that, in fact, marriage is THE next step, and in all actuality it is the final step.

Luckily, our cultural heritage has left us with a nice in-between step wherein we can still leave the relationship without breaking the covenant.  It is called engagement, and nowadays it seems like little more than a waiting period which allows the couple to plan their big day.  But it is also their chance to really consider if they are willing to spend the rest of their lives together.  Dating is certainly not a covenant, and neither is engagement, and that is good news.  There is nothing wrong with ending a relationship in the engagement stage- it exists to give you that chance.  I feel like too many people feel like they have to stay in their relationship once they are  engaged (or even dating), since they have made a pledge to the other person.  And they have made a pledge.  But that pledge is worth annulling if it means avoiding a divorce down the road.  Divorce is by far the worse repudiation.

Grow Up

When Jesus told His disciples that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to children (Mark 10:14), there were many lessons that they could learn.  But one of the traits of children Jesus was not referring to is their selfishness.

We live in a society inundated by the idea that the self is the highest authority.  If something pleases me, it must be good for me, so I should consume it.  Inversely, if something displeases me, I should avoid it at all cost.  And many of us have been hoodwinked by the allure of this idea.  But in reality, these are nothing more than the musings of a self-obsessed child.  The world does not hesitate to remind me that I am not at its center, and I must find some way of coping with this revelation.

Unfortunately, too many people have chosen to cope by ignoring reality altogether.  And it shows in their broken marriages.  Far too many marriages have come about simply due to physical attraction (the most fleeting of attractions), and far too many have ended due to lack of the same.  Today's spouse often thinks more about how to get his partner to serve him than how he can serve his partner.  It is an attitude misalignment of tremendous proportions.

Our marriages will never be fixed until we begin to ask "How far can I go for my spouse?" instead of "How far can I push my spouse?"  Marriage is an investment in another person, and to get a return on the investment, there must be something invested.  In this case, I would suggest investing love.

If you are married, please take time to recognize just how important (and wonderful) your relationship to your partner is.  If you are divorced, please know that Grace abounds and that I am certainly not condemning or maligning you in any way.  But this is a topic that we Americans are far too nonchalant about, and it requires some indelicate discourse.  And if you are single (like me) or dating, take time to consider just how you want your married life to be, and treat those around you (especially those of the opposite sex) accordingly.  In all things, uphold the institution of marriage, and do everything you can to reflect the Love of God to those around you.  I challenge you all to read 1 Corinthians 12:31b-13:13 some time this week, and I will do my best to bring another weighty marriage topic to bear next week.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." -Hebrews 13:4

EDIT (9/30/12):

It has come to my attention that certain of my ideas in this post can be misconstrued somewhat, so I wish to write for a minute on a few points.  Firstly, I am not saying that divorce should be avoided in every single situation (see comments below).  There are very legitimate reasons for leaving an abusive or otherwise unhealthy marriage (as Jesus alludes to in the passage from Matthew 5).  Also, I am not saying that there is no Hope for people who have been divorced.  I know as much as anyone that Grace is available for all sinners.  As a Christian, I am called to "love the sinner and hate the sin."  The post this week was much more about hating the sin than loving the sinner.  My main wish in writing this post was to attempt to counteract the unconcerned attitude many modern Western Christians have toward the subject.  My heart aches for people who have been affected by divorce, both out of love for the people and hate for divorce.  But I do not for an instant harbor any resentment toward the people themselves.  I sincerely hope my combative attitude above has not unduly offended anyone.

The Marriage Ref: Foundation

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage..." -Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

I have been holding off on this topic for quite some time, because the things I have to say go against much modern conventional "wisdom," and I am certain to step on a few toes if I convey my thoughts well.  That being said, I have felt very convicted this week to begin a series on the subject of marriage, and specifically marriage in the modern Western world.

Therefore, I am embarking into this volatile landscape harboring only the hope that the words I say will be a proper representation of the Truth which comes from God.  In my life, I am surrounded by marriages which are failing or have failed, and it seems to me that in general the marriage which lasts longer than a decade is the exception to the rule.  This simply should not be.  Broken marriages grieve me more than just about anything else in the world, and I have a not insignificant amount of frustration with the modern view of marriage, both outside of the church and in it.

First, however, let me make a very marked disclaimer.  I am not married, nor have I ever been married, so for me to talk about marriage at all may seem to some to be at once pretentious and somewhat crass.  I, however, would disagree with them wholeheartedly.  It is my experience that the people who are most jaded about marriage are those who are or have been married.  That is not to say that all married couples are sullen and cynical.  But I believe there is a tendency for married people to lose sight of just how significant their relationship is in the first place.  Familiarity, while not necessarily breeding contempt, at the very least often brings disillusionment.  And thus I believe perhaps my perspective on the subject is worth presenting.  You should not discount my thoughts simply because of my youth.

"I am young in years,/ and you are old;/ that is why I was fearful,/ not daring to tell you what I know./  I thought, ‘Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.’/  But it is the Spirit in a person,/ the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding./  It is not only the old who are wise,/ not only the aged who understand what is right." -Job 32:6b-9

How Important is Marriage?

So, with the boldness of a pioneer, we begin our venture into the wilderness that is the defense of marriage.  Like any journey, we must begin with a purpose.  We must have a reason for setting out, or else why risk the dangers of the wild?  So I will bring you up to speed on my thoughts thus far.

Why defend marriage in the first place?  At first glance, it seems to be nothing more than a funny little convention created by cultures over the years.  But I believe there are two aspects of marriage which even now should indicate to us its importance.

First, I believe that marriage is the second most important natural relationship in a person's life.  Of course, the most important relationship is that of the nuclear family.  There is a physical, very real connection between a human and the human who gave birth to him or her, and this connection even branches out to other humans related by this process of birth.  This is a fairly self-explanatory idea, so I will not expound on it further.  Marriage, like the nuclear family unit, represents a connection made by a physical and physiological process- in this case sex.  Many psychological studies have been done into the connections the brain makes during sex, and from what I understand, they are very strong.  Indeed, based on the behaviors I have encountered, they might be stronger even than the filial connection mentioned before.  "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Gen. 2:24, NKJV)  We cannot escape the pull of marriage; it is built into our DNA.

Secondly, I believe that marriage is the second most important spiritual relationship in a person's life.  Again, it is obviously overshadowed by that person's relationship to God.  But if you believe in a higher power at all, it is all but corollary that your faith has something to say about the institution of marriage.  If you have been married in the United States, perhaps you were married in a church, buy a priest, using some version of the Roman Catholic marriage vows.  This alone should tell you that marriage has a lot to do with religion.  Other cultures have variations on this formula, but they are almost always tied in some way to the local religion.  This is because we understand that marriage is a covenant, which is not just a contract between two people, but a contract between two people made before God.

Marriage, it would seem, is important.

Moral Compass

Before we make the first step on our journey, we must make all necessary preparations.  And in our case, that includes bringing along a compass.  And indeed we have such a guide for directing our paths on this voyage.  Sadly, however, many people have chosen to ignore the compass altogether and have wound up failing to defend not only the sanctity of marriage as a whole but also their individual marriages.

To avoid continuing the metaphor at the cost of semantic precision, I am going to write more plainly now.  There has been much debate recently, especially in the political realm, over the definition of marriage and the constituents thereof.  Passionate outcries resound from all sides, each person appealing to the government to characterize marriage in one fashion or another.  Much ill will exists between opposing parties, as well as a fair amount of miscommunication.  The men and women involved in these debates recognize that marriage is important, for one reason or another.  But they fail to realize a more fundamental aspect of marriage.

The institution of marriage never has been, and never will be, defined by the government.  The idea is actually somewhat comical.  It would be similar to it attempting to change the definition of "entropy," or "syllogism," or "red-orange."  Like all of these examples, marriage as an institution exists apart from the realm of government, and while there is something to be said for defining what is meant by "legally married," this phrase in itself is little more than a formality.  The government can no more assign meaning to marriage than it can ascribe the term "pasta" to the planet Saturn.  Because when Saturn becomes "pasta," then "pasta" takes on an entirely new meaning (and it probably ceases to sound as appetizing for a main course at dinner).

The same is true of marriage.  Say the government declares that men have the right to marry horses.  Very well, the legal definition of marriage has changed.  But it is no longer in any real sense marriage.  In fact, we may be pressed into adding descriptors to the original idea to preserve its meaning (traditional marriage), or perhaps a new term would need to be coined to replace the former concept of marriage.  The government can pass as many laws as it wants telling me the grass is purple, but this will not make it look any more like a violet.  Therefore, while I do care somewhat about how our policy makers choose to define matrimony, their decision will have little effect on what I say about marriage or what marriage actually is.

I hope I have adequately proven that marriage is not defined by government.  The question remains, then: By whom is it defined?  Again, the answer is rather simple.  The institution of marriage was created by, and to this day is still defined by, God Himself.  Just read Genesis 2 if you want proof of this.  I will forgo quoting this passage at present, because I am sure that I will reference it quite a lot in the next few weeks.  For people who have faith in another deity besides the Christian God, perhaps your concept of marriage comes from your religion as well.  And for the scope of this discussion, that is fine.  But it baffles me to think that atheists would even care the slightest bit about holy matrimony.  If you take away the sacred nature of this covenant, it becomes little more than a pinky-swear.

And perhaps this is why so many marriages today are failing.  It is because we fail to realize that marriage in itself is a monument erected and maintained by the Creator of the universe.  We buy into the lie that a vow this weighty is actually nothing more than a contract letting us sleep with another individual with some sense of moral impunity.  We have succeeded in undermining one of the institutions God established even before the fall of man.  And as a society we are paying for it dearly.

I have sermonized long enough for this week.  Please know that my intentions in all of this are solely based out of love for the institution of marriage and my concern for my fellow man.  I only wish to see things set aright, and I hope that you share my passion. I leave you this week with one sentence from Hebrews.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." -Hebrews 13:4

The Normal, Radical Life

Throughout its history, Christianity has been full of amazing stories of men and women who have seen tremendous changes in their lives.  Tyrants have become meek, respectful figures, murderers have become life-savers, and cynical men have become passionate advocates for good.  Just look at Paul- the murderous Jewish zealot turned feverish proponent of the Christianity, and author of several books of the New Testament.  There have been countless examples since then of people who have come from the depths of depravity to the heights of sainthood.

There have also been plenty of people who haven't.  In fact, I would say that the majority of people in the history of Christianity have been relatively nice people for most of their lives.  They don't  have bone-chilling stories about their shadowy past or legions scars from terrible decisions.  And they don't have awe-inspiring stories of miraculous deeds they have performed or thousands of people who have converted to Christianity primarily because of them.  And that's okay.

Or is it?  Something I have noticed about modern Christians (myself included) is that we tend to romanticize the stories of people who were saved from a horrific past and glorify stories of people who do outlandish, crazy things for the sake of the Gospel.  This tendency bothers me.

Consumerist Christianity

Let me start by saying this: there is nothing wrong with celebrating these stories of triumph.  Christians are right to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15) and to celebrate the lost son finding his way home (Luke 15:10).  However, this attitude is like many components of our lives- it is a matter of intensity.

What we do when we over-emphasize stories of this "glamorous" Christianity is we make the faith of others seem less real.  We start using platitudes like "God wants to use you to change the world," and "Why can't more people's faith look like [insert name here]?"  Sure, God may want me to change the world, but maybe for now He just wants me to help out my neighbor.  And certainly, lots of people could use to have a faith that is more like the individual in question.  But their faith really needs to be more like that of Jesus, and in that case it might be substantially different than the person in our example.

Modern Christians have inadvertently succeeded in commercializing certain aspects of the church experience.  We want to change lives, and this is a just and noble cause, but we are naturally drawn to those stories that represent a "larger" life change.  Therefore, without even thinking, we begin to make church more about telling inspiring stories than about the worship of God and the edification of men.  We regale applauding audiences with touching anecdotes which have two effects on the listeners: (1) giving them the (sometimes false) notion that the church is succeeding in its mission and (2) reinforcing the idea that a faith which is not doing earth-shattering things is not working at all.  We need to be more careful in how we present stories of modern people.

Profound Simplicity

Sometimes faith is much less adventurous than we like to think.  Sure, it can be about the big changes, the sweeping conversions, and the prominent miracles.  But it isn't always so electrifying.

Allow me to give an example from the Old Testament.  The Israelites had gone into the land of Canaan, and they were busy doing God's work there, which mainly consisted of ridding the land of the sinful people who had inhabited it previously (see: Joshua 8, 10, 11, Judges 1, etc.).  It would seem that the Will of God was being done in a very spectacular manner.  And of course, the Israelite kings continued to battle the peoples around them.  Then along came a king named Ahab.  Ahab has developed a legacy as one of the more troublesome kings of Israel, and for good reason.  On one particular occasion, Ahab decided he decided to try to do the Will of God by wiping out the Arameans. So he teamed up with Jehoshaphat king of Judah and got his army ready.  After getting the blessing of about four hundred guys who claimed to be prophets, the tag team was on the verge of marching off to battle when a true prophet of God named Micaiah arrived, saying that God's real message was to sit this one out.

What?  God's Will wasn't to display His power and might in an awe-inspiring way?  No, it wasn't.  But what about Ramoth Gilead, the city that used to belong to the Levites as an Israelite city of refuge?  It was to be left alone for the time being.  And the precedent which had been set in so many battles before?  Well, God's Will is often unprecedented, but that doesn't mean that it is always showy.  His Will in this instance was very different from what it had been in the past.  Ahab learned this the hard way, too, since he died in battle, after ignoring Micaiah's warning.  The Israelites, God's chosen people, were routed, and much harm was done.  (Check out the whole story for yourself in 1 Kings 22.)

Be Where You Are

I cite this story simply to make this point: God's Will is not always about being showy and outwardly impressive.  It often involves simply serving Him where you are right now.  The church needs more Christian missionaries, it's true, but we also need more Christian doctors, more Christian pizza delivery guys, and more Christian high schoolers.  In short, we just need more Christians.  Not Christians only in name, but Christians in character, willing to step out of their comfort zone for God (and willing to step into it).  As Christians, we should strive to look as much like our Savior as possible, whether that means being crazy and outlandish or humble and quiet.

This is the great thing about my faith.  Not only do I get to be more like Jesus; in being more like Him, I find I'm more like me!  And I have a whole different skill set than many of my friends.  It wouldn't make sense for us to all be picking up our livelihoods to move to Africa, because we're not all equipped for (or called to) do that.  The best we can do is to listen as closely as possible to the Holy Spirit and to do what He tells us to do.  This is true obedience: not working to convert hundreds of people to gratify yourself, but loving everyone around you the way God wire you and willed you to do.

Finally, I have a challenge for the church.  On top of celebrating the person who went from total depravity to Christian Love, let's also rejoice for those among us who have pretty much been in church their whole life and still have a passionate love for Christ.  Instead of only touting stories of mission work in Haiti and miraculous healing in Africa, let's also honor the family here at home who simply share the Fruit of the Spirit with those around them.  Sure, I'm amazed by riveting stories of flashy workings of the Holy Spirit, but I'm also completely floored by the couple whose marriage has lasted 50 years and the farmer who helps his neighbor with yard work.

There are so many ways God can work in this world.  Let's not limit Him to only doing big things.

I leave you this week with some of the instructions Paul put at the end of 1 Thessalonians:

"Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you.  Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.  Live in peace with each other.  And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else." -1 Thess. 5:12-15

What About Love?

It has been a while since my last post, and while I have enjoyed my few weeks' reprieve from these deep intellectual pursuits, I must say I am very glad to be able to type another post.  This week, I am going to consider one of the more common objections to Christianity.  I am not going to try to answer every facet of this objection, but rather to present a proposal which may annul much of the argument in the first place.

This objection to Christianity goes as follows:  How can a good and loving God allow for the torture of souls which are not loyal to Him?  That is, can hell really be consistent with the concept of a benevolent God?

Of Course Not

At face value, it seems as though this cannot be.  Certainly, a God who professes to love His creation and who allegedly sent His Son down to die in order to save it would never want to cause pain to any part of this creation.  Benevolence, it would seem, is inconsistent with punishment.  But the problem with this consideration (much like many of the modern atheist arguments) is that this is not a question to be taken at face value.  One of the things that irks me most about many atheist claims is that they look into certain questions in a manner which is far too in-depth (such as fairly simple biblical passages), while treating other, more cumbersome subjects with an undue sense of levity.  The present subject is an example of the latter.

Love, despite what the modern world may suggest, is not a topic to be taken lightly, and it most certainly is not easily to understand.  It does not fall into black and white boxes of "always right" and "always wrong" behaviors.  Actions are influenced by love, but they are not easily judged by it.  Love dictates different responses depending heavily on circumstances.  Take, for instance, a son asking his father for a gift.  Out of love for this son, the father will likely be inclined to buy him the gift.  But say that the family does not have much money.  In this instance, the same love which compelled him to spend the money in the previous example might now be the very reason he does not buy the present.  Does the father love his son any less for withholding the gift?  By no means!

You Give Love a Bad Name

There is yet another aspect of Christian theology which the skeptic in this instance neglects to mention.  That is, the concept that God is Love.  We as humans have a hard time understanding this (and I certainly do not profess to fully comprehend it).  For us, love is a verb- it's something we do.  And to be honest, its something we do very imperfectly.  Sure, we have the concept of love as a noun, but for the Christian God this concept is totally different.  Love is part of who He is, and this makes all the difference in the world.  This means that everything God does is influenced by and guided by love.  This idea, however, also means that God is loving, no matter what He does.  It is a little awkward to put into words, but the main idea I am trying to convey is: God is defined by Love, and Love is defined by God.

Do not take my word for it.  Just ask John- "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7-8)  What does David say about God's love?  "Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,/ your faithfulness to the skies."  Or read Psalm 136: "His love endures forever."  Even Paul comments on the power of God's love: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39).

Who are we to tell God what love dictates of Him?  He is the very standard by which all love is measured!  To the atheist this might seem like deflecting the question, but it is simply the truth.  At times, this facet of theology confounds even the most astute Christian, but that does not make it any less true.  And from everything I have read in the Bible and from my real-life experience, this concept is very consistent with what I know about love and about God.

Love and Wrath

The final concept I wished to express this week is that God's wrath is not inconsistent with His love.  The world over the past several decades has accomplished the extraordinary- it has managed to totally dilute and adulterate the concept of love.  The love pictured in the Bible is a powerful and momentous entity which heals the sick and alters the course of history.  What I believe many people picture when they think of love today is little more than kindness and warm feelings.  This image of love is not only weak, it is in many ways misleading.

True love (the love found in the Bible) is not always happy, and it is certainly not always gentle.  And while God certainly is Love, this is definitely not His only trait.  God is also perfect (Psalm 18:30), jealous (Exodus 20:5), just (Ezekiel 18:25), and righteous (Ezra 9:15), among other things.  I particularly want to focus here on the perfection of God.  God is perfect, and He demands perfection from His creation (after all, that is the way He created it, see Genesis 1:31).  If God is in control, and He demands this perfection, then He is certainly justified in punishing those parts of His creation which are not perfect.  But could a loving God really do this?  Yes, He could! There are several instances in the Old Testament, and even some in the New Testament, where He displays such punishment.

But the surprising thing about God is that He chose to give His creation a way out.  This is the exciting thing about Christianity.  God, being perfect, still found a way to allow imperfection into His Kingdom!  This Grace is quite monumental, and no Christian would have hope without it.  This salvation came with a price, however.  A man (who was actually God, but still totally a man) had to die to sanctify those who believed in Him.  But this sacrifice did not totally erase all punishment, however.  God bent the rules to allow for imperfect people to be perfected, but their perfection hinges on belief in the perfect Jesus.  And for those who still refuse to believe, their impurities cannot be reconciled with His perfection.  It is not that God chooses to torture them; these people select their own fate.

So there you have it, as well as I can put in words for right now.  God is loving, in fact He is Love.  But that Love does not preclude His Wrath.  God is perfectly justified and perfectly loving in whatever He does, simply by being God, but He chooses not to punish His creation to the full measure they deserve.  As long as they can believe on Him, God's Love truly can be a positive and helpful force.  But for those who refuse this Grace, the more vicious attributes of His love are still very much in play.

I will leave you with a passage I referenced earlier regarding God's justice:

"Yet you say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ Hear, you Israelites: Is my way unjust? Is it not your ways that are unjust?  If a righteous person turns from their righteousness and commits sin, they will die for it; because of the sin they have committed they will die.  But if a wicked person turns away from the wickedness they have committed and does what is just and right, they will save their life.  Because they consider all the offenses they have committed and turn away from them, that person will surely live; they will not die.  Yet the Israelites say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ Are my ways unjust, people of Israel? Is it not your ways that are unjust?

"Therefore, you Israelites, I will judge each of you according to your own ways, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent! Turn away from all your offenses; then sin will not be your downfall.  Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel?  For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!" -Ezekiel 18:25-32