"Starving men may think much about food, but so do gluttons; the gorged, as well as the famished, like titillations." -C.S. Lewis, Mere ChristianityToday marks the end of my series on marriage. I have put quite a bit of thought and passion into the past several weeks, and therefore next week's topic is likely to be somewhat less weighty. Nevertheless, I have one more subject I wish to cover before moving on.
The matter at hand this week is pornography. Modern Western culture, while not necessarily approving of this industry, at the very least seems resigned to its prevalence. There are plenty of references to it on television and in the movies, and to say pornography exists on the internet would be a severe understatement. In fact, it has been said that many modern technological innovations (such as the internet) were cultivated in their infancy primarily by this industry. It seems as though most of the teenage male characters on television have a piles of magazines stashed under their mattresses, and whether or not this is treated as a bad thing tends to be a coin flip. And their family members are always making weak remarks along the lines of "Well, I went through the same thing when I was his age." or "You have to be supportive of him even if you call him out."
Christians, likewise, have slowly begun slipping in our willingness to condemn lust and pornography to the degree they deserve. One of the most common things I have heard in accountability discussions is, "I struggle with lust, but what guy doesn't?" Maybe they're right, maybe it is only inevitable that we will all stumble eventually when it comes to these things. Maybe they're wrong.
Lust is Bad
Let me get this out of the way first. I hate pornography. I believe it is one of the vilest and most harmful examples of human depravity ever concocted. It hurts people physically, emotionally, relationally, psychologically, and spiritually. And it gives nothing back but a shallow and fleeting feeling. "...[T]he mirth of the wicked is brief, the joy of the godless lasts but a moment." (Job 20:5) There is literally no redeeming quality to it whatsoever, and it is just as addictive as it is evil.
But the "success" of pornography is only a symptom of a larger disease, known as lust. While modern society understands at some level that pornography is bad, there is almost no resistance whatsoever against lust. Just glance at the magazine rack the next time you are at a supermarket, or watch television for about half an hour. Lust is not only accepted, it is even encouraged in many cases. This should not be.
As Christians, we need to be consciously working to root out lust in our own lives. We have been told unequivocally that lust is itself tantamount to adultery (Matt. 5:28), and for those who do not already know, adultery is one of the Big Ten which God calls out early on as being strictly sinful. (Exodus 20:14) So let's start here: lust is sin. All right, let's take a deep breath before we move on. ...
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Ready? So lust is sin. That's fine to say, but it doesn't really hurt anyone, right? Wrong. Lust is just as potent as any other sin. And people hurt.
Mind Games
Lust and pornography seem to be very personal, individual sins. And in fact, the participant is normally the first person to be hurt by lust. Lust warps your mind in many different ways. What God created as people, you begin to see as nothing more than a collection of body parts, and the whole is not greater than the sum. In fact, you are mentally reducing a someone's personhood to nothing more than a object to be used for your whims. If you take out the context of happening in the mind, this begins to sound unnervingly like slavery. Lust is, in its purest sense, a corruption of love. Love bids us to appreciate the person for who they are, whereas lust suggests we appreciate the person for what they have. Lust is one of the shallowest and most selfish states of mind imaginable, and it only survives due to its facade of only affecting the individual.
But even before it begins to show in obvious outward ways, lust has the potential to hurt others. Despite what people might say to excuse it, lust is not simply recognizing beauty. It is mentally taking possession of what was never meant to be yours in the first place. It is trading years of joy for a moment of addictive happiness. And like any addiction, each successive instance requires more to sate the appetite. Eventually, lust leads to resentment toward the object of the lust for not fulfilling more of this desire, and without correction this will typically lead to one of two paths.
The first is to begin to show outwardly the abomination of what dwells within. "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." (Matt. 12:34) Eventually, a person can become controlled by their thoughts, acting in ways they would never once have dreamed possible. This is the exact opposite of the mindset Paul suggests in 2 Corinthians 10:5. The second typical course of action is to turn to pornography, a world where unrestrained lust has been given full rein and people are treated externally like the objects the lusting man sees in his mind. This is an exceedingly dark realm, where each loathsome desire is given the exhibition it never deserved. And people hurt.
Acquiescence
Now we come to the most lachrymose section of this entire conversation. I am actually having a difficult time typing these words due to the overwhelming sorrow and anger I feel when I consider these situations. Pornography has permeated the lives of modern people even more than may be readily apparent. It has ruined more marriages than I care to think of and been a contributing factor in many, many cases of abuse in this country. I do not know exact figures, and I honestly do not think I can look them up at the moment, but please do so if you do not believe me.
The kinds of desires that give rise to pornography have also driven sex trafficking all throughout the world. Women and men are being bought and sold as slaves to bate the cravings of others who do not even have the first conception of proper love. For more information on this, check out Unearthed, a project which strives to expose these evils and drive them out through disseminating information.
And why do we continue to see healthy relationships ruined by this consumerist view of sex? Because as a society, we have given into the hedonistic notion that the self is the highest authority. Instead of sacrificing more for each other, men and women have begun demanding more than the other can give, so they turn to solutions outside their marriage, and then they are forced to cast their marriage aside like the hollow structure it has become. And people hurt.
The Great Physician
As a solution to this problem, I have nothing more to offer than the Mercy and Grace of God. Jesus died, not to take away your happiness, but to give you joy. But joy sometimes demands sacrificing happiness, and until we as Christians and as humans figure this out, people will continue to hurt. But God is faithful, and He will heal those who turn to Him. I know this, because He is in the process of healing me.
As the Church, we should be serious about ridding ourselves of lust and we should be adamant about erasing pornography altogether. I'll let Paul say the rest:
"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit." -1 Thess. 4:3-8Please think seriously about marriage, and do everything you can to support this institution. I cannot stress enough how important it is to the families in our society and to the society as a whole. I am so grieved by the marriages that I have seen end, but I am also encouraged by others I see which are still full of vitality. Please fight for marriage. Love is always worth fighting for.
"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." -Hebrews 13:4For further reading on this subject, please see the chapter from C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity and Porn-Again Christian by Mark Driscoll.
Impressive. Keep up the good work.
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